In exactly 7 days, I'll be on my way to my ultrasound appointment, trying not to get overexcited while driving....I'll find out the sex of the baby! I can't wait! I really hope it's a....boy....or girl!
The energy that did no exist in the slightest during my first trimester is coming back. I'm not super energetic at all, but it's not so bad that I can't even shred a block of cheese. Yes, that happened. More than once. A couple weeks ago, I was able to shred the whole block alone and Ben said "Welcome back!" Of course, five minutes later, I started putting the taco meat on my taco shell first and he had to remind me that I like to put the sour cream on first. Then Ben said "Where's the old-old Amanda, who could shred cheese and knew the order of taco ingredients?" She's gone for a while. The "pregnancy brain" is definitely in place, and brought with it a whole slew of emotions and mood swings...I'll take it, because I get a baby at the end!!!!
I've been thinking recently about how weird it is that I'm going to be a parent. I'm not sure what happened, but somewhere alone the line I apparently became responsible. I don't know when or how that happens. I'm also not really sure that I agree. I mean, the counter becomes incredibly messy at times, I slack on doing laundry until either Ben or I really needs a certain shirt, or just a shirt I guess, we don't clean the bathroom weekly, actually cooking a meal is quite rare....need I go on? I'm just not certain that these are the traits of a responsible person, but somewhere in there, I was deemed responsible. It's true.
Example of me being responsible: When I was 16, two months after I got my driver's license, I got in a car accident while driving somewhere I wasn't necessarily supposed to be (I was allowed to drive there, but my parents didn't know I would be there that night and were upset I wasn't where I had said/planned to be) and ended up totalling my mom's car. That's a problem, and was not deemed responsible. A week or so later, my mom got a new car and a week or so after that I also got a car....not new, obviously. At first, I thought this meant they trusted me or something, then realized it meant they no longer wanted me driving my mom's car. I was not allowed to drive my mom's car for a long time after that. Then, one day, without anyone being aware of anything changing, no one cared when I had to take my mom's car somewhere. I don't even know when that happened. It had become so accepted that I was not a responsible person who wouldn't drive where they weren't supposed to be and wouldn't get into car-totalling accidents, that no one even thought twice or realized this would in fact be my first time to drive the "new" car. It was not new by that time though, I'm sure.
It's interesting to me how these things just happen. Poof. I'm responsible. So responsible in fact that I can now be trusted with not just a new car, but a new life! An entire person is going to be given to me to take care of. Yes, Ben and I will share the responsibility, but it's still a whole life! A little baby who needs me, or Ben, for EVERYTHING!
It sounds like I'm nervous, scared, worried...but that's not it at all. I am simply in awe. Completely....awestruck....amazed....that I am going to be trusted with a little life to take care of. That's so much better than driving a "new" car, especially since I don't even remember the first drive in said car. I'm going to have a baby. A baby!!! It doesn't get much better than that.
Have an awesome day folks! Don't forget to smile and be happy!!!
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