I have a number of friends....friends from college, from high school, from other parts of what is now my past life....that I keep in touch with, but don't always do a great job with. It's an email here or there, maybe a visit or two thrown in between, but I always feel that it's never enough. An obvious solution is that I email more, that I pick up the phone, plan more visits, but I'm always wary that it's not what they want. I don't have any reason to think this; they are so happy to see me or hear from me when it happens, but I can't help it.

I'm reading a book where two old friends who haven't really spoken for ten years and live across the ocean have recently become reacquainted and are writing letters to each other. Real snail-mail, handwritten on paper, addressed and stamped, letters. And I thought....wouldn't that be fun? It got me thinking that I should keep in contact, any sort of contact, with friends and also made me wonder what I'd write and who I'd write to. I think....why not everyone? Who doesn't like to get real mail? A real-live letter in your mailbox?

When I send off an email to a friend, I get a reply, but then am unsure of what to write back again. Emails are often so infrequent with some friends that they only include the big things in life, the big changes and news and so a week or two later, when the reply comes, I don't have much to say back again. This is the problem and why I don't keep in touch as well. I get....I suddenly am at a loss of anything to say. But, I was thinking, in college, Beka and I were pretty good at sending each other snail mail randomly and half the time it was pointless and nonsensical. A random card with two sentences that simply said "This made me think of you." or "Remember that time when we.... That was fun."

There are two plastic containers in my basement filled with already made cards from stamp camps and piles I found at my grandma's house when we went through her things a few years ago. Why not make use of them? Sitting in the basement is a useless place for pre-made cards. So, if you get a card in the mail with random thoughts inside, don't be surprised.

Of course, my intentions on things like this don't always go as planned. That's possibly part of the problem and why there are so many people I wish I kept in touch with better. I think I'll bring the little bins upstairs so the cards can stare me in the face and I can send some out.

If I keep it up, it'll give me something to do in a few months when the baby is napping....because we all know I won't be able to think of anything else, right? :P

Have a wonderful day folks and don't forget to be optimistic and smile!!

In exactly 7 days, I'll be on my way to my ultrasound appointment, trying not to get overexcited while driving....I'll find out the sex of the baby!  I can't wait!  I really hope it's a....boy....or girl! 

The energy that did no exist in the slightest during my first trimester is coming back.  I'm not super energetic at all, but it's not so bad that I can't even shred a block of cheese.  Yes, that happened.  More than once.  A couple weeks ago, I was able to shred the whole block alone and Ben said "Welcome back!"  Of course, five minutes later, I started putting the taco meat on my taco shell first and he had to remind me that I like to put the sour cream on first.  Then Ben said "Where's the old-old Amanda, who could shred cheese and knew the order of taco ingredients?"  She's gone for a while.  The "pregnancy brain" is definitely in place, and brought with it a whole slew of emotions and mood swings...I'll take it, because I get a baby at the end!!!!

I've been thinking recently about how weird it is that I'm going to be a parent.  I'm not sure what happened, but  somewhere alone the line I apparently became responsible.  I don't know when or how that happens.  I'm also not really sure that I agree.  I mean, the counter becomes incredibly messy at times, I slack on doing laundry until either Ben or I really needs a certain shirt, or just a shirt I guess, we don't clean the bathroom weekly, actually cooking a meal is quite rare....need I go on?  I'm just not certain that these are the traits of a responsible person, but somewhere in there, I was deemed responsible.  It's true.

Example of me being responsible:  When I was 16, two months after I got my driver's license, I got in a car accident while driving somewhere I wasn't necessarily supposed to be (I was allowed to drive there, but my parents didn't know I would be there that night and were upset I wasn't where I had said/planned to be) and ended up totalling my mom's car.  That's a problem, and was not deemed responsible.  A week or so later, my mom got a new car and a week or so after that I also got a car....not new, obviously.  At first, I thought this meant they trusted me or something, then realized it meant they no longer wanted me driving my mom's car.  I was not allowed to drive my mom's car for a long time after that.  Then, one day, without anyone being aware of anything changing, no one cared when I had to take my mom's car somewhere.  I don't even know when that happened.  It had become so accepted that I was not a responsible person who wouldn't drive where they weren't supposed to be and wouldn't get into car-totalling accidents, that no one even thought twice or realized this would in fact be my first time to drive the "new" car.  It was not new by that time though, I'm sure. 

It's interesting to me how these things just happen.  Poof.  I'm responsible.  So responsible in fact that I can now be trusted with not just a new car, but a new life!  An entire person is going to be given to me to take care of.  Yes, Ben and I will share the responsibility, but it's still a whole life!  A little baby who needs me, or Ben, for EVERYTHING! 

It sounds like I'm nervous, scared, worried...but that's not it at all.  I am simply in awe.  Completely....awestruck....amazed....that I am going to be trusted with a little life to take care of.  That's so much better than driving a "new" car, especially since I don't even remember the first drive in said car.  I'm going to have a baby.  A baby!!!   It doesn't get much better than that.

Have an awesome day folks!  Don't forget to smile and be happy!!!

Here's some advice I'd like to give the world.  As the advice stems from a pretty big pet peeve I have, it's also a request for those who do this.

If you go by your middle name instead of your first name (for example, your parents put "Thomas James" on your birth certificate, but you like people to call you James instead of Thomas), your legal name....the name you have to put on all legal documentaion like passports, marriage licenses, drivers licenses, and medical information, is still Thomas James.  If this is the case, and someone in one of those legal type professions asks you your first name, tell them Thomas, not James.  Is your first names James?  NO!  Your parents wrote Thomas on the birth certificate and as you have not legally changed it, your name is still Thomas.  So, when you go to the doctor, and they ask your name, don't say James.  And especially, don't stare at them like they are crazy for not knowing what your first name really is when all you said was James.  I've had this experience far too often and it's just plain annoying. 

One of my coworkers husbands goes by his middle name, but he is sure that whenever he goes to the doctor, he says, "My name is Thomas James."  That's not his name....I actually don't ever remember his first name because she calls him Steve, but that's not the point.  The point is that he considers that other people are not psychic and do not know that he goes by his middle name, nor do they even know what his middle name is because lots of places only have a middle inital, so he tells both names. 

Also, if you are considerate and say "My name is Thomas James" or even just "My name is Thomas" and then you say "But I go by James" that's fine.  But, be sure that when I later call out for James that you actually answer.  I don't even understand how it's possible that some people don't answer to the name they apparently go by, but that happens all the time too.  If I'm being considerate to use the name you prefer, then look up when I call it. 

That's the end of my rant.  But please, just use both names.  You know what your first name is, so use it.  Please.